Cries Not Mean
January 2014
I mused in my reverie unending. There are things that always make me not soundly in my bed. Memories of a year ago that still incise wound in the heart of this. I slowly close your eyes. Until I realized I was in a very dark nature. "The figure was .." I thought. He was standing right in front of me. She was a woman who used to be someone important in my life. Someone who goes by the unnatural way.
I woke up with irregular breathing and sweat trickling down my face. I got up from my bed and I was silent for a long moment. My mind focused again on my memories with the woman in my dream.
Back to the past
July 2012
This is the beginning of the story. My phone rang signifying one incoming message. I see on the screen shown me a new number that is not known. "Who is this" I thought. Quickly send my reply to him. Turns out he is Rama, my classmates when I was in junior high school. Our conversation continued until late at night. He said that he could not continue school to high school level. When I asked why, she simply replied "family matter". He said it with a happy although I know her heart was breaking. As the fourth of six children. Rama is a child who is so devoted to his parents. Although I know that his mother never concerned with achievement he can in school. I was amazed to see it, to see a friend who was so strong even though nobody cares about him. While I can not so tough that he did.
Actually Rama is not dakat my friend or my friend bench. He's just a friend who I know because kejailannya bully my friends, both boys and girls though. He happily did not deserve the truth of his actions he did like a junior high student. "He was really mad" I told myself annoyed at that time. One of my new secret out of it. Turns out he liked one of our friend named Restu. I thought it was a mere rumor that is not important to talk about in front of me when people in my class talking about the two of them. I come join with gerembolan my friend who was busy gossiping
"No gossip guys" I want to know.
"Ihhh Ika curious aja lah .." said my friend that my furious with the arrival of a sudden disturb them. hehehe
"Yeah sorry guys if I'm alone. But what first rumor then I caw from here. OK .. "I said plaintively
"It was the Rama ka tablets, it turns out he likes the same tablets Restu and he uda from the first"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yes lah. Uda caw lo from here. Just kidding "
"But I really want to caw really from here, I'm not willing to add my sin. Not good to know when talking about another person without his knowledge "I like cleric in front of them.
"Yeah right aja lah let me quickly" they said in unison
And I go so wrote without hearing again greeting them it does not matter.
My reverie shattered after my mother calling my name over and over again without me answer a word. I immediately ran to my mother who was ready to pull out his ravings.
"Hehehe" I laugh in the face of my mother.
"The girl in the morning gini not much daydreaming. Myspace kesambet ... "said my mother advised.
"Siiip ok lah bu. I shower first. Bye "with a delicious I ninggalin mother who still talk to me
"Uh, this kid in bilangin even blurred wrote. Elementary age children are now hard Ko yes dinasehatinya "chatter talking alone with my mother who is in cooking food for breakfast this morning.
Later that night ...
I paused again in my daydreams about Rama.
25 November 2012
Around 3 pm ...
We agreed to a reunion at the home of our first homeroom when we SMP.
I and five of my friends met there. Not to forget there are also Restu and Rama who also came on the reunion show. Not an official reunion sihh but only commemorate the teacher wrote. Blessing comes with our friends, Sisil.
"I'm confused, why not come with Rama Restu ?. I know that Rama said he would go with Restu here. "I thought to ask.
I immediately sent a text message to Rama. Rama said Restu not want to pick him up because Restu had more first appointment with Sisil.
"Res. why lo do not want to pick Rama. Pity he can not come here because there is not the nganterin "I said with a little annoyed.
"Males ka lah. Hot outside. Elo wrote that pick him there, "said the blessing, thrusting his motorcycle keys to me.
I'm really annoyed made. "It sucks" I thought.
Not how long Rama comes with a cousin who was also gone after he scaled Rama in front of our homeroom. I'm glad Rama come. She returned my smile. Sweet smile when I taste it. Last smile for me. A smile that still leaves the deepest secret between me and Rama.
Rama and Restu meet again after our graduation a few months ago. I know there is a very longing felt by Rama to Restu. I also know they are stealing glances. Rama busied himself with taking pictures with some of my friends. Maybe by then he treat injuries and ridunya to Restu. Restu prefer Sisil to dijemputnya than Rama who've obviously loved her more than the Restu tau. He invites me to take pictures but somehow that time I was reluctant to accept his offer.
"Come on our photo ka yuk .. Create a keepsake tablets ka" he said seduce me
"No lah makasi" I reject it gently
Later that night ..
Rama called me after the meeting this afternoon.
"Hello Rama there is what?" I asked, curious
"There is not anything. I just wanted to vent wrote the same lo "
"Ohh .. fuck story?"
"I actually really jealous clay Sisil Restu more promiscuous than me. Less what I Restu eyes. I'm less pretty ya ka? "He said a very sad tone invitation
"Elo not done anything wrong. Wrote blessing that can not ell deeper clay with his heart. Tuh children weve really annoying, Ram. Udalah need not be discussed yes. "I said, trying to calm him down.
Saturday, December 29th, 2012
As usual I and Rama always communicate even if only via text message. Tonight nights a week, I do not like girls usually are diapelin her boyfriend at home. I can only dwell in my room while sms's at Rama. Rama said if Restu bohongin him again. Pity I heard Rama says it all. The strange thing tonight he gave me.
"I sleep first ya ka" he said to me
Though he never said like that every time we sms's, I had no inkling whatsoever about his departure.
"Ok lah if you want to sleep first" I said innocently.
"Yes already, elo do not sleep at night time yes. Do not be too affected by fecebook ka, nice not know. And one more thing, do not try datangin place (a place that I can not mention "very secret") ". he advised me at length.
I did not realize that it was the words he's the last time.
Sunday, December 30th, 2012
Today is a day that is so me really hurt. Number Rama called me, I thought Rama but it kakaknya.Aku surprised when her sister said that Rama died. Once destroyed felt my heart, do not realize I was crying uncontrollably. I immediately went to his house. I saw he was lying in front of me. "Oh God, is this you take my Sepat" I thought in my cries were meaningless dribble because Rama I can not live anymore. Something angry and disappointed me is .. Restu not attend the funeral ceremony of Rama. He had never loved Rama at all. He was crazy. Blessing a man who had no heart. How could he playing Rama.
Before Rama died, he had said that Restu always had reneged when he will meet with Rama. Rama sad. Because he knows that Restu not love. Restu just say dear to Rama just to give false hope. There are many secrets still I keep here in this heart of the outpouring of Rama to me that I could not tell anyone.
Restu not know Rama died. Although he did not know might come because he was busy spending his school holidays in the village. Rama died in a motorcycle accident near his home. He died on the spot with bruises on his body. He was a victim of hit and run. People who have been hit not want to be responsible. Bleeding from the nose and mouth are still flowing when his body was lifeless. I conclude for themselves that Rama bleeding in his brain. Only the white cloth that covered his entire body. Friend Rama bum no one was injured. It is strange but that's the reality. When his death was also no know for sure how it happened.
There is only love which he carried until he closed his eyes for ever. Just stay in self Regret Restu. I was disappointed with it. Angry with him. Whenever I'm reminded of Rama him and that's when he did not want to hear me talk. I just laugh to myself. And happy because Restu really sorry.
Back it hit me ..
I'm in my room today. Scribble my diary about Rama.
Rama who was present at the first of my day. Did not realize that at this time I so miss. Dreamed and wrote a poem for him.
A sense that you had for him will never die, man.
I was the one who would turn that love you
Dead felt my heart to forgive him
I miss you friend
From here I send a prayer for you
In order for you to calm there
I'll make sure we meet again there
Will not be forgotten by me about you
This is all I have created for you
For you who have gone to bring love and lasting wound in the heart. I want to see your face ever framed life. Although you have to go from here. I're always there for you.
IKA friends ...
THE END
Short Story Essay: Ayu Kartika
Facebook: kartika aiiu
hi guys ... my name Ayu Kartika. I prefer dipanngil Ayka. I am now sitting in the class 2 SMK. Precisely at SMK Budisatrya Medan, North Sumatra. Hopefully can enjoy the story. The reality is sad lohh, then once I read it in front of my teacher and then the one I had tears in my eyes. Because this is a true story that I never forget until whenever. Thanks a lot. Bye ...
one another, Appreciate the love when love is alive, not to regret later on. Because of something that has been missing from this world may never come back again.
cerpenmu.com
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